I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
