My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
