YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Who died my cat blue again?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
