You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
