Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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