She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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