Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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