The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
