Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
