apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
