Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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