I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
