For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We left the knife in your bed.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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