Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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