I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
