yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
