Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
