Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
