I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
