Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
