Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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