I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
