Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
