My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
