I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize