You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
