how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
