I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
