You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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