ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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