Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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