She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
