I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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