all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
