Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
