"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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