It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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