I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
