you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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