is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
