Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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