It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
