Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize