google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
