Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
