Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
