Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize