Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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