I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
