life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
