A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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