Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
