im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize