she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
