Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
