I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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