It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it's like heaven, but drunker
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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