Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
