They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think my vagina is haunted
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
