I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
