you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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