i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think your dad took our porno
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
