His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
