so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
