wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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