sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
