How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
